Get Hungry on October 29

Dear fans/friends/detainees:

Please be advised that once again, Hungry Bill has thrown his big Amish hat into the ring of fire and has entered the annual Pittsburgh's Acoustic Challenge, hosted by Three Rivers Productions.

As you may recall, Hungry actually won a preliminary round in 2005. However, last year, being the victim of a haunted sound system and saddled by a bad hair day's night and missing sequins from his jacket, Hungry Bill was summarily dismissed by the judges.

The 2008 Pittsburgh Acoustic Challenge will take place on Wednesday, October 29th at Shenanigans (the old Oregon Bar and Grille), located at 2310 Babcock Boulevard, Pittsburgh, PA 15237 (412-821-4355). The fun should start at 9:00 p.m.

Come on out to heckle and boo the other contestants and cheer Hungry Bill on to glory. In honor of the Halloween, Hungry will perform some of his new songs which are also seasonal, which include, "I Am Not Really Dead," "I'm the Guy Dressed Like a Cheerleader" and "Poltergeist on my Commode." 10/27/2008   Speak, Brothers and Sisters: 0 Comments

That's gonna leave a mark

Joey Acosta and Robert Glasser have learned an important lesson: If you're going to trace a .357 so you can have a killer tattoo, take out the bullets first to make the killer part a bit less literal.

The New Mexico men both managed to be struck by the same bullet when the gun went off. (They're going to be fine.) 1/01/2008   Speak, Brothers and Sisters: 0 Comments

Heat is on Amish jitney drivers

The Public Utility Commission has had enough of the Plain Folk who do not take advantage of traditional utilities. It's going after those who give them rides to the doctor or the grocery.

Undoubtedly forcing Amish jitney drivers into a seamy underworld, the PUC wants to require a $350 certification and commercial insurance that can run as high as $6K a year.

(Shameless plug: Be sure to check out my song "I am an Amish jitney driver" on the music page.) 12/31/2007   Speak, Brothers and Sisters: 2 Comments

Santa is magic; you aren't

The truth comes out about who really believes in Santa. ... A man in Australia's Alice Springs area thought that if a fat old man could slide down the chimney, so could he. Employees at a resort heard some nonfestive moaning coming from one of the fireplaces and called Aussie 9-1-1.

Ninety minutes of jackhammering later, the unidentified Santaphile was released by rescue workers. 12/31/2007   Speak, Brothers and Sisters: 1 Comments

Gym was underwear lover's undoing

What's a panty-obsessed man who lives with his mother to do when a sexy gym opens across the street? Londoner Paul Kavanagh was convicted of making around 15,000 lewd phone calls to the ladies, asking about their undergarments, after repeatedly phoning the receptionist at said gym.  11/12/2007   Speak, Brothers and Sisters: 0 Comments

Twins invent wedgie-resistant underpants

Perhaps necessity was the mother of invention for Jared and Justin Serovich, 8, whose bully-proof BVDs are causing a small sensation. Apparently when a wedgie maneuver is attempted, the undies break away. Why having a bully de-pants rather than wedgie you is an improvement is a question best answered by 8-year-olds. 11/07/2007   Speak, Brothers and Sisters: 0 Comments

Big fun at the Travelodge

A survey of 310 UK Travelodges found evidence of 400 incidents of naked sleepwalking. The most common request of those who wandered into the lobby: a newspaper, please. 10/26/2007   Speak, Brothers and Sisters: 0 Comments